Excuse
Some songs are hard wired into my psyche. Even if I haven't heard them for a while, the moment the first few notes begin to play, I'm back in a totally different state of mind. Below is a track I hadn't listened to for years, but the other day I was driving around and suddenly the partly-plaintive, partly-ominous piano opening came through the speakers. In less than a moment, I was sucked back into being a version of 'me' whose shoes I hadn't stepped into for a while, a version that had no trouble at all relating to the sense of smallness expressed in the lyrics.
Quite a few years have passed since Little Earthquakes was essential daily listening for me, but I guess the whole point of hard wiring is that you can never quite get rid of it. You find methods and strategies of maintaining your emotional equilibrium - and most of the time you do genuinely manage to get through your day without being aware of insecurities and anxieties from the past - but every now and then something comes along - something that knows how to push your buttons - and you feel like you're twelve years old.
It's odd that I heard this particular track again recently because, sure enough - as if by some karmic mockery - a couple of days later, a situation arose which well and truly pushed all my buttons to the extent that I spent a few days back in the mind of my adolescent self. I'd forgotten what a forlorn space that was. Still, I'm not sure many people around me noticed, which must mean that I've made some sort of progress... right?
Quite a few years have passed since Little Earthquakes was essential daily listening for me, but I guess the whole point of hard wiring is that you can never quite get rid of it. You find methods and strategies of maintaining your emotional equilibrium - and most of the time you do genuinely manage to get through your day without being aware of insecurities and anxieties from the past - but every now and then something comes along - something that knows how to push your buttons - and you feel like you're twelve years old.
It's odd that I heard this particular track again recently because, sure enough - as if by some karmic mockery - a couple of days later, a situation arose which well and truly pushed all my buttons to the extent that I spent a few days back in the mind of my adolescent self. I'd forgotten what a forlorn space that was. Still, I'm not sure many people around me noticed, which must mean that I've made some sort of progress... right?
Comments