Reason contd.
I should have known better. Writing a two-part post at a point in the calendar when I have almost no free time wasn't a great idea. But even though I've been busier than usual, the question raised below hasn't been far from my thoughts: whilst I've been driving around or walking or cooking or pretending to pay attention to other people talking, I have genuinely tried to come up with an answer. But no, despite several covert brain-racking sessions, I'm not really much nearer to a resolution than I was a few weeks ago. Sure, I've come up with a few more PAFSOPs, but none of them hit the nail on the head.
Take PAFSOP #5 for instance: Because I enjoy it.
This is the one others find hardest to swallow. I do not - repeat: DO NOT - enjoy the process of writing. I don't get excited by staring at a blank screen or page for hours on end. When I do scribble a few words, I don't gain any satisfaction from reading them. I don't find the solitude restful. I don't consider the introversion to be healthy. And I don't like the effect the whole thing has on my relationships with those closest to me. I can see why other people find all this impossible to believe: "Why do you keep doing something you don't actually have to do if you don't enjoy it at all?" But maybe their arguments are based on a false premise: maybe writing IS something I simply HAVE to do... but I'm not allowed to say that, am I, because then I start sounding pseud-y, right?
Then again, doing the actual writing is just one aspect of being a writer. Another one is showing your work to other people and asking them what they think of it, which I do quite enjoy, if I'm being honest. I also love the euphoric rush of getting An Idea. One minute you're in your kitchen chopping onions whilst listening to Radio 4 and the next you're... well, absolutely wherever you want to be... and then the idea pushes you one step further and shouts, "Write me down!", which can also be fun... until you actually obey the command and do write it down, which is when everything starts going down the drain again, because you immediately realise that nothing - no matter how elegantly written - will be as wonderful and perfect as the initial thought that popped into your head totally unbidden.
So, no, the process of writing is a drag, but not everything about being a writer is devoid of enjoyment.
I could probably think of more PAFSOPs, but maybe I should just bring this post to a close and spare you from any more of these inconsequential musings. The only complete (and non-pseud-y) truth I can come up with at this point in my life is: I don't really know why I write. It's something I've done since I was about 7 and I suspect it's something I will do forever. Maybe that brings us to the scariest PAFSOP of all...
#6: Because if I didn't write I'd have to think of something else to do.
Let's steer clear of that one for now, shall we?
Take PAFSOP #5 for instance: Because I enjoy it.
This is the one others find hardest to swallow. I do not - repeat: DO NOT - enjoy the process of writing. I don't get excited by staring at a blank screen or page for hours on end. When I do scribble a few words, I don't gain any satisfaction from reading them. I don't find the solitude restful. I don't consider the introversion to be healthy. And I don't like the effect the whole thing has on my relationships with those closest to me. I can see why other people find all this impossible to believe: "Why do you keep doing something you don't actually have to do if you don't enjoy it at all?" But maybe their arguments are based on a false premise: maybe writing IS something I simply HAVE to do... but I'm not allowed to say that, am I, because then I start sounding pseud-y, right?
Then again, doing the actual writing is just one aspect of being a writer. Another one is showing your work to other people and asking them what they think of it, which I do quite enjoy, if I'm being honest. I also love the euphoric rush of getting An Idea. One minute you're in your kitchen chopping onions whilst listening to Radio 4 and the next you're... well, absolutely wherever you want to be... and then the idea pushes you one step further and shouts, "Write me down!", which can also be fun... until you actually obey the command and do write it down, which is when everything starts going down the drain again, because you immediately realise that nothing - no matter how elegantly written - will be as wonderful and perfect as the initial thought that popped into your head totally unbidden.
So, no, the process of writing is a drag, but not everything about being a writer is devoid of enjoyment.
I could probably think of more PAFSOPs, but maybe I should just bring this post to a close and spare you from any more of these inconsequential musings. The only complete (and non-pseud-y) truth I can come up with at this point in my life is: I don't really know why I write. It's something I've done since I was about 7 and I suspect it's something I will do forever. Maybe that brings us to the scariest PAFSOP of all...
#6: Because if I didn't write I'd have to think of something else to do.
Let's steer clear of that one for now, shall we?
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